Stop Networking the Wrong Way

From the November 2025 issue of the GPSolo eReport, copyright American Bar Asscociation

In the legal profession, technical skills and subject-matter expertise can get you far. But what truly drives career advancement and business growth are the relationships you build along the way. Whether your plan is to remain at your current firm, move laterally to another, or eventually take on an in-house role, your network will be one of your most valuable assets.

Clients, other trusted advisors who serve them, colleagues, and professional peers form the foundation of opportunity. A strong reputation matters, but a strong reputation is built through relationships—people who know you, trust you, and are willing to stake their own reputations on making introductions, referrals, or direct hires (and people who are willing to give you advice, feedback, and share resources).

The challenge is that relationships aren’t built overnight. They grow in layers, over time, through small but meaningful interactions.

Why Relationships Matter More Than Ever

Lawyers often operate under the assumption that good work speaks for itself. To some extent, that’s true. Competence and integrity are essential if you want to build your practice or find good career opportunities. But in a crowded marketplace, countless lawyers are competent. Clients and employers want to work with people they know, like, and trust.

Relationships open doors that raw talent cannot. They help you:

1. Attract clients who already feel confident in you before you’ve drafted a single contract or brief.
2. Access insider knowledge about opportunities, whether a new practice area is growing, whether a client is unhappy with current counsel, or whether a leadership role may soon open up.
3. Build advocates within your firm who will support your partnership bid or nominate you for high-profile projects.
4. Create career insurance: If you decide to move on, you’ll already have people willing to pick up the phone on your behalf.

Put simply, your network is both your safety net and your launchpad.

The Layered Nature of Relationships

Business development and career advancement are rarely the result of a single meeting. Instead, they grow progressively as trust and familiarity deepen. Think of relationships as a series of levels, each one building on the last:

• Level 1: Introduction. It might be at a bar association meeting, a conference, or even the sidelines of your child’s soccer game. You exchange names, shake hands, have a quick conversation, and perhaps connect on LinkedIn. At this point, the connection is thin, but it’s a starting point.
• Level 2: Familiarity builds. You begin to see this person more often—at recurring professional events, community gatherings, or industry conferences. Each time you interact, recognition grows.
• Level 3: Coffee or lunch. You take the next step: a one-on-one meeting. Here, the relationship shifts from surface-level acquaintance to something more personal. You learn about their practice, their background, and even their family or hobbies. Trust starts to grow.
• Level 4: Shared experience. You work together, maybe on a bar committee, a nonprofit board, a law firm initiative, or a community project (or on a legal matter). You observe how the other person operates under pressure and how they collaborate. Professional respect begins to take root.
• Level 5: Thoughtfulness. You begin sending them relevant articles, podcasts, or even lighthearted memes that align with their interests. You think of them when they’re not in the room. Over time, they begin to see you as a resource, not just a name in their contact list.
• Level 6: Mutual support. The relationship deepens into intentionality. You ask, “How can I help you?” and explore ways to introduce each other to people or opportunities that matter. Reciprocity moves from implicit to explicit.
• Level 7: Collaboration. You co-author an article, co-present at a webinar, co-host a podcast, or serve as co-counsel on a matter. Now, you’re not just exchanging pleasantries, you’re creating something together. Shared projects accelerate trust.
• Level 8: Business flows. Finally, the moment comes. They send you a client referral, introduce you to a decision-maker, or even hire you directly. Importantly, this happens not because you pitched them aggressively but because the trust you’ve cultivated makes you a natural choice.

Networking vs. Relationship Building

Too often, lawyers treat networking like speed dating. They collect business cards, send a few emails, and hope something sticks. But effective business development is not transactional; it’s relational.

True relationship building requires:

• Patience is essential. The person you met last week may not refer you business for years—but when the moment comes, the relationship you’ve built will pay dividends.
• Sporadic outreach is forgettable. Consistent, authentic contact cements your presence in someone’s mind.
• The most successful networkers are givers. They connect others without expecting immediate return. They offer insights, encouragement, or resources because they want to help, not because they’re calculating favors.

Networking is often focused on what you can extract. Relationship building is focused on what you can contribute.

The Mindset Shift: From Transactional to Generous

Think about the people you’ve trusted most in your career. Chances are, they weren’t the ones who pushed their services on you or followed up aggressively after one coffee. They were the people who took an interest in you, offered value, and showed up consistently without an agenda.

This mindset shift—from transactional “what’s in it for me” to relational “how can I support you”—is at the heart of successful business development. When you approach networking with generosity, opportunities emerge naturally.

Practical Steps for Lawyers

How can you put this layered approach into practice? Here are a few strategies:

1. Start small. Aim to add one or two new contacts per month. Quality beats quantity.
2. Follow up quickly. After initial meetings, connect on LinkedIn and send a short note referencing your conversation.
3. Stay visible. Attend recurring professional gatherings so familiarity builds organically.
4. Add value. Send relevant resources or invitations without expecting anything in return.
5. Be curious. Ask open-ended questions. People enjoy sharing their stories, and it strengthens the connection.
6. Look for small opportunities to work together—a panel, an article, or even brainstorming over coffee.
7. Play the long game. Relationships built today may bear fruit years from now. Trust the process.

Beyond Private Practice

Even if you don’t plan to stay in private practice, relationships remain central. If you aspire to move in-house, opportunities often come through word of mouth. Corporate leaders want lawyers who understand their business, and they’re far more likely to trust someone recommended by a mutual connection than a stranger sending a résumé.

Likewise, if you’re thinking about moving to another firm, your reputation with peers—both inside and outside your current firm—can determine whether another firm sees you as a cultural and business fit.

The Long-Term Payoff

Relationship building is not glamorous. It often looks like small touches (showing up, following through, remembering details, and making introductions). But those small touches, layered consistently over time, compound into something powerful.

When someone ultimately hires you, refers you, or champions your candidacy, it won’t be because of one dazzling moment. It will be because of the quiet, steady accumulation of trust.

So, the next time you think about business development, resist the temptation to treat it as a numbers game or a short-term hustle. Instead, focus on building relationships layer by layer with patience, generosity, and authenticity.

Because in the end, business relationships aren’t built in a day. They’re built in layers. And those layers form the foundation of a career that is not only successful but also deeply satisfying.