It turns out that rumination is actually a useful human behavior. It helps us process events, figure out new ways to approach things, and remember what’s important to us. However, it can become a problem when it takes over our minds.
If you’re like me, rumination is often part of your daily routine. And it can be hard to rein it in. But there is hope!
I recently learned about a technique that can really help us to gain more control over our negative thoughts. It is called ‘distanced self-talk.’ A professor at the University of Michigan, Ethan Kross, talks about it in his book Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It.
With distanced self-talk, there’s a psychological benefit to speaking to yourself in the second person. By doing this, you gain some psychological distance from yourself.
It’s like talking to a good friend, which helps you separate yourself from the consuming thought and move you forward with your day. For example, when a business pitch doesn’t yield the desired outcome, you might say to yourself that the client wasn’t ready to buy.
When a case or a deal doesn’t go well for your client, you might say to yourself that the facts weren’t on the client’s side or you didn’t have a lot of leverage to negotiate better terms for your client.
This works even better when you do it out loud.
But as I warn my clients, make sure no one is around when you are talking to yourself. 😉
Check out an interview with Professor Kross on The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos (one of my favorite podcasts) and consider picking up a copy of Chatter to learn more.