This morning, while walking with my friend Jennifer Taddeo we talked about the different ways people support each other. Jenn shared a concept with me that struck a chord: the “Ring Theory” of support.
The idea is simple yet powerful. When someone is going through a tough time, picture them at the center of a series of rings. Those closest to them are in the next ring, then close friends and family, and so on. Support should flow inward toward the person at the center, while our own needs or responses should flow outward. In other words, listen and empathize with those closer to the center without making it about us.
I once worked with someone who would consistently relate others’ hardships back to his own experiences. If he heard of someone else’s misfortune, he’d immediately start talking about his similar experience. While well-meaning, it was often off-putting because it shifted the focus away from those who needed the support.
The Ring Theory is a great reminder that, sometimes, the best way to help is simply to listen. It’s not always about offering our own stories or solutions, but rather about creating space for others to be heard.
Have you seen this in action? How do you approach offering support?